When did this happen?

Whaaat, when?

Today, I had an epiphany. Actually, it was more like over the past 3 days, I’m a little slow, sorry. Ok so, Over the past few days I have had this epiphany. It all started on our work FB group page.  If you don’t have one, you should consider making one for where ever you work.  We have one for both jobs…It  started on the FB page for the Rodeo.  For the most part the page is used to give away and pick up shifts, but every now and then it’s used to announce fundraisers for employee’s kids. You know, like when so and so’s kids are selling girl scout cookies or raising money to go to D.C or something like that, But every now and again someone will just post a random comment.

A few days ago the random comment was: Does the summer season at The Rodeo get any better?

And by this the poster meant was:  It‘s spring break and we are making crappy tips, and does this shit ever get better?

  One of the answers that was posted was : Summer is the season of turn and burn, the tips are still shitty, but there are more of them, so your best bet it to turn tables as quickly as you can, good luck!

Like we’re Tributes in the Goddamned Hunger Games or something

"May the odds be ever in your favor!"
"FML"

Sounds reasonable right?

Here is the thing.  Back in the day, when I was a teenage server, I was ok with that.  Now that I am a 30 year old server, Not so much.  I prefer the large parties…the ones that have auto gratuities attached to them, the ones that you can talk to and have a good time with..the ones who you can find something in common with or make jokes with.  Those are the ones where I make my money.  I can laugh with them and be silly and they remember me, and want to come back and tip me on top of the grat.  I guess my location is different. I live in FL. Everyone is here to escape. I work near the theme parks so everyone is looking for a bit of magic and fun, They are here to forget how shitty their life is, or that they just spent their life savings to get here. Most of them have been through the wringer trying to get the cash to take this trip, and you damn well better “perform” when they sit in your section.  I work in two different themed restaurants, so I know that is the expectation. And I am completely ok with this.  In fact, sometimes work, especially at The Rodeo, can be somewhat of an escape for me, to forget about whatever problems I might be having. It took me a very long time, but I have learned how to keep my problems off of the floor. Sometimes it’s like there is a Magic Eraser for my brain when I walk into work and I don’t even think about anything that I have going on outside of work. It even works at The Jungle…sometimes.

I got to thinking today ,while i toiled away deep in the heart of the fucked up Jungle, about how when I was younger, I loved just turning and turning and turning tables. Making my 5 or 10 dollars and just hiking up my guest count as high as I could. Because after all, theoretically higher guest count means more tips…right? Well maybe back in the day it meant that.  And maybe in other locations it meant that…But not here.

As I said before, here, people expect more of you.  Even if they are just in for a quick burger and fries, they want you to dance!

WERK!!

And if you don’t dance…No matter how fast you turn those tables…your tips will suck.  Now, I told you guys I am a little slow, and I am sure this was covered in some training class I had somewhere at the Jungle or at the Rodeo…but..It all makes sense now.  I know…I’m slow, I should have gotten this long ago.  But in my defense, for the most part, While living in FL I have been either a Chef, or a Sommelier. so not much dancing was required, at least not in front of guests…

But I guess the biggest part of the epiphany for me was…FUCK THIS!

I ain’t no body’s puppet.

I was listening today to some of the servers, getting really excited about the upcoming summer, they were talking about how the new Meal packages that are being offered at some of the theme parks and participating restaurants (including both of the places I work) are going to bring in more business, and how fruitful the summer will be once we are turning tables left and right, and how the Jungle will soon be a ‘prosperous nation once again’.  It was kind of sad to me.  Because a lot of the talk was coming from servers that are much older than me… It just seems…for lack of a better term, Lame to me that this is what we are looking forward to.

SO, I realized this…

1. I am not a turn and burn server…

2. Since I am not a turn and burn server, and I like to take big parties and get to know them, and work those tips…That makes me a career server…

3. That is fucked up and scary !!(to me at least). I’ve been doing this for 15 years…EEK!!

4. I have never been more sure about my decision to leave the Jungle, and  go back to school!

So there it is…

I have somehow “Grown up” and seen some kind of light…Thank God!!!

One more time and then i’m done with this…

church

One more time, Im going to talk about this once more, and then I am letting it go.
I’ve been pissed off for weeks y’all. Now i’m going to write about it, and you can tell me how crazy I am, even though Farrah already assures me i am not crazy and i have every right to be mad. Mr. Jones is/was/ok he kinds still is on the my shit list. I wrote in my last post that he was out of town. Well he was out of town. And by out of town I mean, Hawaii, without me.

This turn of events started about 5 months ago. Apparently Mr. Jones’ dad is in poor health. He has been battling prostate cancer for some time now and as far as anyone knew, he was getting better, having a shitty time with the radiation and all that, but nevertheless getting better. Anyway, I guess 5 months ago he and Mr. Jones planned this lovely trip, a golf excursion filled with mai tais and all the lomi lomi salmon they could shove into their faces. Sounds fun right? Sounds like something you would want to let your wife know about right?

Well he didn’t. Months went by and he didn’t say a single word about it. until one fateful day about 3 months after the tickets were bought and paid for, i went to sign into my hotmail. Mr jones had left his hotmail signed in, I saw an email labled ‘RE: Hawaii tickets’ ‘Wow’ i thought, ‘maybe mr jones is planning a trip for us, that would be awesome’ Opened it up…Only two tickets, one for him and one for his father… I didn’t say a word. I waited…and i waited…and i waited.. a good 3 weeks for him to tell me.

he didn’t.
So i said something.
it caused a huge fight and i told him he was a jerk. Not because he wanted to spend time golfing with his ailing father, but because he hadn’t bothered to even tell me about this trip. You are going to fly halfway across the earth…pretty sure you should mention that to your wife.

His reasoning was not sound. He said he didn’t want to tell me because I might get mad, and because he was mad at me…I’m no angel.

It’s true. I’m not an angel, I spent this summer Wilin’ out.

exhibit A: sometimes i dress Mah Boo up like a reindeer and we go on a totally gay christmas in july party bus to Ybor City...

But I always

A: told him my plans.
B: invited him to the shennanigans.
and
C: asked if it was ok.

Apparently they aren’t big on communication in Mr. Jones’ family because he still does not know how to do this. So anyway, months went by with me trying to be ok with this trip.

Then I would be mad about it
then I would feel bad for being mad about it
Then I would be mad that I felt bad
Then I would be mad because i was mad…it was madness.

So finally the week came and Mr. Jones went. He did shorten his trip to a week instead of the original 2 they had planned. And the whole time he was gone, life here was a hot mess. My uncle got sick, my brother had a baby, my mom was a wreck and there wasn’t anything i could do about it from way over here. I was a mess.

So I posted my frustrations on my own personal FB page. In a conversation with Mah Boo, I let it all out. Apparently Mr. Jones’ dad was online and he took it upon himself to let me know that they had planned this trip forever ago and that it might be the last time they spend time together, that I was not the first person to have 2 jobs and a child and that I basically need to quit my bitching and not post stuff for other people to see.

What I said: Nothing (I took the entire post down because clearly he had no idea why I was actually mad and because arguing with a person 3 generations older than me is pointless, because they are set in their ways)

What I did: Remove all of Mr. Jones’ family from my page, because this isn’t the first time I have posted something that has offended his extremely white southern baptist family.

What happened after that: Mr jones’ dad sent me a “family tree request” an hour later and tried to re-add me. No thank you to both of those.

I am offended by this whole entire trip not only because I was not told about it, but because about 2 months prior to that Mr. Jones’ entire family went to hawaii…they took a family trip. THEN Mr. Jones went alone with his dad. Kind of makes the “welcome to the family speech” i was given (by his dad) on our wedding day (in hawaii) kind of worthless. Myself and my son were not even considered for this trip. They had 5 months advanced notice..I would not have asked them to pay for a ticket for me…I had 5 months, I could have come up with the money.

So there it is..That is my bitchy pissed off rant. And now i’m done with it.
Mr. Jones is home, and im doing my best to get over it, and it’s slowly getting better.

Anger is not fun ya’ll. it can bring you down and poison everything thing around you right down to your soul. I miss my husband, I miss our fun times…Now i’ve let it out and i’m letting it go.
I’m going to go sit next to my man and watch whatever stupid show he wants to watch. All is Forgiven, but certainly not Forgotten.

Respecting your elders…

In most cultures, we are taught,our whole lives to respect our elders. I am all about that. I have precious few elders in my family, so i understand the importance of taking care of those who have given their time and their lives to make sure that we turn out to be healthy, happy, decent human beings.

However, the last few weeks I have been wondering, if and when do we draw the line? I am not advocating that we should ever be brazenly rude to our elder folk, but what i am questioning is…how long do we allow them to be rude to us, before we say something?

Every restaurant has one(save the places that are brand new and only hiring hotties). One elderly person that has been there since the big boom, and have no ideas, or plans about leaving.

I have two. One at each job. In the jungle, it’s a guy named bob…bob has not been working in the jungle for too terribly long, no more than 4 years, but the man is pushing 75 and just about the most unpleasant human being i have ever encountered. He is the biggest problem that we bartenders have on the service bar. He is rude, he demands his drinks 60 seconds after his ticket has been rung in and he pushes other servers out of the way to get his drinks, whether they are ready or not. There isn’t a single server in the jungle who has a kind word to say about the man. I don’t work with him very much, so i guess for that reason i am sympathetic towards him. I cannot imagine being that old and still being a server. I’m not sure what kind of plan bob had for his life, but i’m sure serving in the jungle was not a part of it. i understand his frustrations..but at the same time. Sir you are elderly. You grew up in a time when nothing less that politeness was ever expected. I cannot beleive some of the obscenities that come out of this man’s mouth…As a “youngin” we are expected to take it…but at what point do you tell this guy, enough is enough? I’m sure that having people that are 30 years younger than he is telling him what to do is damaging to his ego…but i feel like there is no excuse for his behavior. I understand it, i can empathize…but it does not make it right.

My second elder

Miss Ruth. It is my understanding that Miss Ruth has worked at Mario’s since before it was marios…She has been there since the inception. This woman, i have a little bit of a different …feel about. She is rude. But i sometimes wonder if she might be a little …i don’t want to use the word senile, because that seems rude to me..but, she is more than slightly off. If you work at mario’s as a hostess, you might have too many hours, or you might need more hours. But god forbid you should ever ask miss ruth if she would like to give away or pick up any hours…because she will turn on you like a black mamba.

Last week i was sitting with another hostess at pre- shift, who had apparently asked Ruth if she would like to give up any hours. When the aforementioned hostess had initially asked, Miss Ruth told her she would think about it…10 minutes later, Miss Ruth burst through the doors from the kitchen to the dining room and grabbed the girl by her shoulders and hissed into her ear “Don’t you ever ask me about my hours again..i don’t want to be mixed up in anything”.
The girl was shocked. I was shocked…WTF just happened in front of my eyes? Is Miss Ruth a part of some conspiracy theory club that is only discussed out loud on Coast to Coast AM?
What is going on with Miss Ruth? i mean seriously?… i really don’t know, and as a manager…what on earth do you do when placed in this position?

These outbursts are not uncommon with her. If you even so much as try to hand her a paper towel to dry her hands…she will take it as a personal insult and read you your rights. I have to work with this woman 3 days a week, for 10 hour stretches….it is exhausting. You can’t hand her a menu, or a plate, or help her with anything of any kind, or she will flip out and read you. Please don’t think that these are things that we do special for her. At Mario’s we are a team…we help each other out, no matter what the task is, we help each other, whether it is hand each other menus, opening doors, helping clear tables we work together…but miss ruth is the only one who takes it as an insult…i understand she is elderly…but how do you deal with that without flipping out?

Should a line be drawn?…or should we just stand by until they decide to retire…

Your thoughts???

Ya Betta work..Pt.2

This post has nothing to do with Drag Queens. Ok maybe a little. Mostly it’s about me getting another job, And possibly a third. Any more jobs and i will be live the jamaicans on In Living Color

I have FIVE jobs mon!

First of the second jobs: I am now a hostess at a very busy restaurant in a theme park where dreams come true :0). Why a hostess you ask? Honestly. A. I need the extra cash, B. It is the only way to become a server in said amazing theme park, thus thrusting me forward into a career of management, leadership, and they will pay for my future sommelier classes
And C. I look freakin adorable in my new uniform…Booyah!

Second of the second jobs: Some bitches want to finally pay me to photograph their asses. Yes Ma’am, I will hopefully be photographing some Drag Queens…for money! not a whole lot of money, but it’s a start. I have this super amazing DSLR camera that Mr. Jones bought me this once time, for putting up with my Mother in law for 3 weeks straight, WITHOUT committing homicide. My reward was a 1300.00 Canon REBEL XTI. The HBIC of the Diamond Divas and i discussed me taking pictures and making flyers etc… She gave my number to the club, and I have yet to hear from them, but I am still hopeful. If not, well…nothing ventured nothing gained. And at least i know that i have been taking great pictures of people for years and if i really put myself out there, i can make a little dough and have fun. After all, isnt that what life is all about?

On another completley different note…This blog now has an FB page, please ‘Like’ if if you like these crazy ass ramblings, because I sometimes post on there, things that i do not post on here…Also

I want to make a Twitter for the blog…Any username suggestions?

aaannnd GO!

The Time My Privacy Was Violated…

While I was on vacation, Mah-Boo was competing in our local Drag Idol competition. Because I was not able to attend he borrowed my Flip Camera and made a video for me. Today he tried to send it to my Facebook, and for some reason I could not watch it. Then I remembered, that i have my personal FB page on lockdown. Then I remembered why I have it on lockdown, then I just got mad all over again, and now i have to write about it.

I used to be very vocal on my FB. I had no filter…I would talk about anything and everything and I didnt really care who saw it. Don’t get the wrong idea, it wasn’t like I i went on there and put everyone on blast and talked mad shit. I just told it like it is..or was…or whatever. This once time i got on FB after a particularly frustrating 16 hour day and wrote this:

One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong AKA Sometimes Stepping Down is A Step Up.
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Monday, August 10, 2009 at 7:10pm | Edit Note | Delete

I work at a resort in oregon. It isnt a very good resort, it is however the first resort/casino ever built on a native american reservation, and it did at one point posses a 4 diamond rating. (they seem to have little to no interest in regaining their rating) For the first 9 months we lived here i didn’t work at all. my husband makes enough to where i really don’t have to, but because we really wanted to go on our trip to South Africa this year, i got a job, bussing tables at one of the restaurants in the resort. I guess i did a good job because 3 months later i was asked if i wanted to be the banquet captain.

I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to learn more about catering. I want to have my own catering company some day and i figured this opportunity would be a good way for me to learn. So far not good. I got the paperwork part down, i can handle the computer stuff. But so far i feel like i am nothing more than a banquet server rather than a supervisor. My boss, she’s ok i guess.
she has some serious control stuff going on which i am not accustomed to, and her assistant i can only describe as the Ice Queen. Long story short, i just don’t fit in this place with these people.
I am have been worked into exhaustion. My legs gave out yesterday, it has come close to happening in the restaurant, but i was always able to keep it together. Banquets is different.

the crew seems to have it a little more together than the restaurant crew, no offense to anyone. But i just don’t fit here.
I am not used to working like a dog, and being in constant fear that the boss might not like the way a flower arraignment is set on a table and tweak the heck out on me. Not to mention, if her assistant talks to me like i am stupid one more time i might tweak the hell out on her..she don’t know my ghetto side, somebody betta tell ‘er!

There is a way to do a good job, in a positive way and have your employees work together as a team out of love for the job, and not fear or obligation or monetary necessity.
It has taken me some years to learn this, but i know it is possible. i have had some really good chefs and managers over the years that have taught me this.

I haven’t always been a good employee. there have been times that i have been the #1 whiner and complainer/ shit starter. I will admit, there have been times i would have fired myself if it was possible. This is not the case here, i didn’t get promoted in 3 months from busser to supervisor because i am an idiot and i suck at my job. I actually do a damn good job here, and i know it. I’m not cocky in the least, it’s just the truth. I worked for a company before this that beat me over the head with guest service, and guest satisfaction. (thank you Disney), so i do here, what i did there, minus the bitching and moaning, and it works.

But the stress of this new gig has finally gotten to me. i haven’t passed out or anything, but my body is exhausted, plain and simple. And the stress of having to hold it in, and hold my tongue every time the Ice queen speaks to me like a simpleton, or looks down her nose at me. this girl is 8 years younger than i am and she talks to me like i am a child!
all of this has gotten to me and i need a break.
i got my shift covered today, and i have an MRI tomorrow to see where i am at.
(i think if i have another MRI i am going to turn into a magnet!)

But i have made the decision that when i go back to work, i am going to speak to the higher ups about transferring back to the restaurant. It had it’s headaches, but at least i knew that they were coming. no walking on eggshells. i had a a pretty regular schedule and it was just better for me all around.
i should never have taken this job.
i haven’t learned anything about catering that i didn’t already know.
i am nobody’s dog
and i am nobody’s child up in here
i do not beg for approval and i do not do tricks
i am not like those people, i do not belong.

That was it. Verbatim. I just so happened to be FB friends with a lady that worked at the casino..hell i was friends with several people there on fb. Well this bitch decided to print that out and sell ‘delia down the river. This is what happened:

Victory! (albeit small)
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Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 7:43pm | Edit Note | Delete

I have not said much about this but to a select few people because i wanted to wait to see it through to the end. My privacy was violated ya’ll straight up. Im no fool, i know that anything you write on Facebook, no matter how many precautions you take is never absolutely private. I write thoughts, and opinions on here, so people can read them, SELECT people, i don’t have anyone on here that i don’t trust. (at least not now!) The last note i wrote about work, was taken and printed off by some one i work with ( and don’t think that i don’t know who you are, just because i am still nice to you does not mean that i don’t hate yer guts) and shown to my ex-supervisor and the Ice Queen. They, in turn, took my own personal blog and showed it to the HR director at work…
While i was still on medical leave i received a phone call from one of the restaurant managers that commented on afore mentioned blog. She was calling to inform me that, My ex supervisor, was arraigning a meeting between my current manager, my former supervisor, the food and beverage director and the director of human resources this coming wednesday, with regard to a blog i had written on my facebook page and a comment or comments made by my current manager. HELL to the NO! Last time i checked this was still America and i was still allowed my freedoms of speech!
And where does Anyone get off printing my Blog and taking it to HR at my place of employment?
HOW ABOUT, A little less focus on my blog and a little more focus on doing your own damn job and making this lodge a better place to visit and work and maybe, just maybe we can get our 4 diamond rating back?! (imagine what this place could be if we put the energy that is being used trying to tear each other down into making this a better place!!! and further more, it would be nice to have another 4 diamond establishment on my resume ;0)
There has been an ongoing battle between the management/supervisory team in the food and beverage department where i work, and i for one am not going to participate, i don’t do drama, especially work drama. This deliberate breach of trust was an attempt to get me to participate in the dramatics and goings on of this feud. I am friends with some of the people involved, but in no way do i want to participate. It is very VERY clear where the problem lies, and what needs to be done, however; the upper management seems to be over looking it, but what do i know? They must have their reasons ;0)
Anywhooper…you guys know me, i don’t take crap like this laying down! But i also don’t act a fool either. After declining to meet with my former supervisor about my own personal facebook page, I made a couple of phone calls and i left a couple of messages to speak with the director of HR myself . I went to see her this afternoon. I was a little nervous because i have seen some things happen here with employees that i have never ever seen in all of my days, so i really didnt know what to expect. But the director is a really awesome, down to earth level headed lady, who is not born and raised here (don’t ask me how but i know it helps).
When i walked into her office, on her desk was a copy of my blog, I told her that i was there because some one i work with, breached my trust and printed off my blog from my own personal website and decided to bring it to work and use it against me.
Of course she already knew what i was referring to and she assured me that i was in no trouble at all, and that the person who furnished the copy was told that there was nothing that could be done to me, because i have done nothing wrong, and she even went as far as to tell me that nothing i had written was untrue, or even that damning….TAKE THAT!!!!
I was a little in shock, but grateful. Finally Score one for me. She told me she was not aware of, nor would she participate in any meeting regarding my facebook. I asked her if we could shred the blog, and she did me one better by ripping it up right in front of me.
We both agreed that this place has more dramatics than we have ever seen in our lives. She told me that the food and beverage director had nothing but good things to say about me and that my husband and i are in no danger of repercussions due to anything on anyone’s facebook and that she was no longer going to deal with anymore facebook goings on (apparently this is the 4th time some one has tried to bust some one with a facebook comment or posting, and she is sick and tired of it)…
Sweet friggin releif ya’ll. i toast this small victory with a mr. pibb! i know it isnt much, but in a place like this where drama reigns supreme, it’s a nice feelin.
Tomorrow is another day, and perhaps another headache, but we will deal with that then :0)

And for the Record i have removed the untrustworthy personnel from my friends list, if this person is still on your list i ask that you do me a solid and keep this away from that person’s eyes….thank you

That was the last time I posted a personal note on FB. After that i cleaned out my friend’s list and stop talking to people at work about anything personal. People already thought i was stuck up, so it was even worse after that. Not to mention, lonely.

Facebook is a wonderful place. I love the fact that i can keep tabs on all my friends around the world and share my life with them. I am so grateful it exists. But it can also be a powerful weapon. If the HR lady wanted to, she could have fired me. We were on a reservation…they are their own government. It could have been a real mess. Even Mr. Jones could have lost his job. All over me and my mouth.
Thank goodness that lady had some sense.

Because of that, i now have this blog. And i choose to keep it anonymous until a book deal falls out of the heavens and I no longer have to wait tables or bar tend. That would be amazing! So, if by chance you do know, or discover who I am, please be respectful of my Anonymity. I would gladly do the same for you

The 2 $ Tip Club

Recently I was really bored out of my mind and decided to search Facebook for Server related groups and pages. In my search i came across The 2$ Tip Club. It is my understanding that the founders of this group, are “foodies” who like to eat at all sorts of restaurants in their area, and when they travel. Their philosophy is that if the service sucks, rather than speak with a manager and go through the proper channels they just deal with the experience and leave their “Signature 2$ tip”.

This is helping no one. The server has no idea what he or she has done wrong, the management has not opportunity to fix the situation. So how is this going to help the problem? These people leave a 2$ tip and then go to this page and write about how awful the experience was(and in some cases, it’s really only a matter of a bread basket).

I don’t like this group. I feel that if they really want to help the problem, they need to speak up. Right then and there, not on some stupid page where there are only 60 members. These people, know that the server is getting taxed on their sales. So they feel their way of getting even is to leave a minimal tip that will in the end cost the server more. So passive aggressive, and juvenile. Yes, let’s hit the already underpaid server with a “bill” so to speak, that will show them! I hate this attitude.

Instead of speaking up and helping the server to improve, these bitches are just perpetuating the problem. instead of a solution, we now have a bunch of mediocre, pissed off servers around the country who are being taxed on their sales and who are now considering taking that morning smoker’s lung phlegm and placing it in your vinaigrette.

Maybe if you had told a manager, they could have helped the server get better, or fired their lame ass and made way, for someone who is much better suited to serve. Way to go 2$ Tip Club. Good work!

And to that i add….

Fuck you Bitches!